Frequently Asked Questions

As a nonbinary creature, I was feeling disheartened by the lack of non-gendered terms in the BDSM scene. I don’t feel like a Dom (“masculine”) or a Domme (“feminine”), so I decided to create a new title that felt better aligned with me: a Demme (as in Dei/Demme/Deminatrix).

A Professional Demme (or Pro-Demme) is a Dominant individual that works with paying clients in BDSM practices.

Upon arrival, we will have a brief check-in, perform any required rituals, and begin the session. Once the scene comes to a close, we’ll have dedicated time for aftercare and any discussed closing rituals.

Every session will include these steps. The length of time that has been booked, as well as each individual’s needs and preferences, will determine the amount of time we spend in each step.

My goal with every session is to hold a safe space for exploration, and every single person has unique needs and desires. Our sessions will naturally evolve over time, as we get to know each other and expand our trust.

Rule 1: CONSENT. That includes your consent as well as my own (and anyone else involved in a session/scene). Clear negotiation will be essential to building our dynamic, and an underlying current of trust is critical to our work together.

Rule 2: Sessions are 100% sober. Establishing a clear-headed baseline for our work is required. If you have any accessibility or medicinal needs that may impact your ability to be sober, tell me in advance of our scene.

Rule 3: Booking time is strict. We will have a clearly set arrival and leave time, and every session is crafted to hold space within these boundaries. Show up on time - if you are late, you have forfeited the time lost.

Rule 4: Test before arrival. Everyone involved will take an at-home Covid test and send a photo of test results within 24 hours before any scheduled session. You must buy your own at-home tests - community care is sexy.

Other rules will be set together, per the needs of our work.

The cost of a session is determined by the demands of the work, from physical to emotional. Each session requires careful preparation, and every client deserves intentional care, especially in this powerful work.

Booking duration/frequency, unique equipment needs, psychological requirements, and intensity of scene will all impact the final cost, and this may adjust over time as our work together evolves.

I accept cash (preferred) or CashApp (only in increments of $350 or less, leave the note section BLANK).

To finalize your booking, you will pay 50% of the session cost up front, via CashApp. You can apply your $100 in-person consultation deposit to this booking requirement.

If we encounter a specific desire that I do not offer, I will do my best to refer you to an appropriate colleague. I personally vouch for all of my professional referrals, and encourage you to find the best match to suit your desires and needs.

Safety is a top concern - for myself as well as for clients. My client selection process is focused around establishing a safe and trusting foundation before we begin our work together. As such, there are several layers of vetting that we will go through after you express interest in working together.

First, we have a short video call to check initial vibe, verify interests and whether this seems to be a good fit. If we both agree to move forward, we will arrange a public meet-up where we will verify your identity, discuss your desires more in-depth, and have a deeper check on our working fit. This step requires a non-refundable $75 deposit, which will be applied to your first session if we both choose to move forward with working together. The purpose of this deposit is to filter out anyone who isn’t serious about working together - let’s not waste each other’s time. Any expenses while we are out will be paid for by you. If we both decide to move forward after this public meet-up, we will begin negotiating and scheduling our first session.

It’s important to me that we choose each other, as our dynamic will always be co-constructed. This is why every layer of vetting requires that we both choose to move forward - consent is everything in this work, even as we play out your fantasies.

Cancellations must be made via email at least 5 days before your scheduled session. Your 50% booking deposit will carry over to the rescheduled booking, which must be set within 30 days of the original date.

• If you cancel sessions twice in a row, or you choose not to reschedule, you agree to forfeit this deposit.

• If you miss a scheduled session without getting in touch with me, you forfeit your booking deposit for that session and will need to go through the formal booking process (including paying a new booking fee) if you wish to try scheduling again - I may or may not accept your request.

If you are unable to attend our scheduled session because of an unexpected or emergency situation (and thus unable to cancel at least 5 days in advance), you must notify me via email and we will discuss options.

I am open to virtual sessions for pleasure consulting and life coaching clients, as this work will not necessarily necessitate working together in-person (though, this of course depends on what our unique dynamic needs are).

Pro-Demme work benefits most from the in-person dynamic. However, I am open to discussing options for working virtually with submissive clients. Rates will be adjusted accordingly.

Altered States of Consciousness (ASCs) are trance-like experiences that can arise during BDSM and sensory work. In particular, rhythmic impact play can lull participants into an extremely relaxed state of mind, venturing in and out between fantasies, sensations, imagery, and deep processing.

As your initiator, I hold the responsibility of guiding you in and out of ASCs by closely attuning to your body, awareness, and breathing. It is my duty to assist you in entering and safely coming back from these powerful states, and I deeply honor this gift of service.